Why people have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded matter that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Affairs can be fraught with problems, cause misery, and other problems. Also you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, money, age dissimilarity, religious education, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married dating.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking extramarital affairs. I think mainly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to switch the craving on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is horribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your family or anybody else? You would need to lessen the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, colossal actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your finances are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his wife for a tones of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be caring is gone, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our ordinary concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.